Nail Arts!

Helloooooooo all surfers around the world, how's life? It's been a while since I haven't visited mine and today I'd like to show you about one of my hobbies which is called nail arts >< I actually started this after the national examination when school allowed me to stay at home and I obviously really had nothing to do. I had some nail enamels and I loved to collect them! ♥ so I thought "why don't I try to decorate my nails?" and then... the story began.

First, I didn't know how to use nail enamel properly then I asked my mom and she showed me the simple waaaaaaay. The first color I used was white and it looked so horrible on my nails 0_0 I can say honestly the white one is the hardest one I have ever tried because of its different texture (I think) but I will ke ep tryin until I do my best one..

Time went and I used different colors. Mom gave me the pretty pink one and I wore it, so beautiful! it was simply like this:

I added the dots and it was.. kinda fail.

I continued to decorate my nails even more with different colors and inspirations! So many videos I saw on Youtube and thank God it helped. I tried "Zebra Nails" and it was not really fail, it looked good on my nails ;) here it is!

Helped by my aunt to decorate 'em!

I also love Manicure. I usually manicure on school days because school doesn't allow me to use nail polish :( how poor! Mom has the kit and I do it by myself. I prefer the french one than the classic one because it's more simple to do. Here's the pic:

I did this at night, sorry for the dark pic!

You guys must be know about Aqualip, right? Hahahah I actually don't have it one, I found it on someone's table at school and I used it with my friends.. This can't be considered as nail art but I just wanna show you ;)

Yes, I'm forever in love with nail arts. There are so many nail arts I've ever tried but I didn't capture them, these are 2 kinds of nail arts which I used lately ;)

I love the pink one, so I more often use it :)

Ciao!♥

Pretty Much Done

pretty much tired
pretty much broken.

Why can't you realize?

It's been a while. You promised me like you'd never break it anymore, and what? Why did you make it so clear when in the end you'd do the same? I wanted to see you and you didn't even have time. You wanted to see me and I even had so many times. When you were sick, I felt worried. I admit that I was busy and I still had time. "apa sih yg nggak buat lo, selagi gue bisa kasih dan itu wajar untuk dikasih?"

A conversation about the girl and the boy who have been in a relationship for about 19 months.

G: "I miss you."
B: "I miss you too."
G: "When was the last time we met?"
B: "Idk, about 2 weeks ago."
G: "When will we meet?"
B: "If we both have time."
G: "Do you have time for me?"
B: "Idk, but I'll try then." *he actually doesn't*

1 week later

B: "Does this Sunday fit you?"
G: "For what?"
B: "I don't go anywhere and I decide to come to your house."
G: "Idk, daddy asked me to visit Thousand Islands. But I probably won't follow him."
B: "Why?"
G: "You said you wanted to come?"
B: "Oh, yes. Tell me later if you have time."
G: "I always have."
B: "Ok."

2 days later

G: "I miss you so much. Really."
B: "Me too."
G: "When will we meet? Next week?" (this girl tests his boy if he remembers or not)
B: "Yes.."
G: (with a broken heart) "Too lame.. I miss you already"
B: "Me too." (he keeps saying same thing)

The next morning

G: "Hi. Good morning."
B: "Morning, sweety."
G: "Morning"
B: "Morning."
G: "I miss you so much, and I wanna meet you. It's like, it's just me who really wants to meet and you.. don't."
B: "Godness, I wanna meet you too"
G: "Do you have time for me?"
B: "I don't know but I try I'll always have"
G: "I asked do you have time for me?"
B: "I tried, and actually I don't"
G: (sighing) (refrain herself to cry) "That's actually I wanted to hear from you.."
B: "But I keep trying, hey listen......."
G: "Why do you never understand what I want?" (began to cry) "I have never asked you for the things I think you can't do.."
B: "Well I'm sorry"
G: "I don't wanna get hurt anymore for the another time.."
B: "Yes, I understand"
G: "I won't turn on this phone, really."
G: "If you miss me, do it by your own."
B: "Why?! You don't love me?"
G: "Idk. Bye."

If you were the girl, what would you feel?
And if you were the boy, what would you do?

Leaving 85 XXII

Just wanna say hello for today, and good bye..

I'm officially a senior high school student now. And that means I'm not longer using my old uniforms, I mean white-blue (putih-biru) or also known as junior high's. I'm not longer going to 85 JHS, it's time to say hello for 49 SHS..

I'm so sad after knowing this is the last day of my 2 months holiday. I'm not so ready to have a new life in high school :-( separate from my boyfie, I know it's a bit hard. Well but I'm trying to face this, it's one of my goal actually. Who can stand? If you're in the same school with your bf/gf for 6 years. No that won't happen anymore. He has the right to know the 'world' without me. I keep watching him thru the distance. I trust.........yea I do. :_)

I'm actually a bit curious how senior high will be. How my new friends there, and the biggest question is;

"Can I meet or even have really close friends there, just like the way I did..?"

I can't answer. Time will. Or school will. Ah.....why does life have to be really quick like this? I don't wanna grow up. I wanna be forever young. 1 thing that I'm so afraid of is, I'm afraid if he meets a girl who has a better 'everything' than me. And..will he fall for her? Forgetting me? Ignoring me? Etc? Will he? Will you?

If I know he won't, I won't post this.. or even say the things I shouldn't. Good bye my old life. Let's just start a new page, Senior High School here I come!

Random

I just found some pictures that reminds me of something happened one year ago. The pics are same, I just captured it too much (-_-) and well.. if you wanna see, here's the pic :-)

Maybe one of you will say "OMG that's hyperbole." OK I may will say the same, but don't you know it has thousands meaning of......love? We were in fight, I think. And as always, I was too selfish. I couldn't even say any words to him, I just read the messages and leave. Maybe I was too mad, by some unexpected reasons.

Personally, I trust him a lot. But when I'm in a process to gaining more trust, he breaks it professionally. Just imagine if you get the same. Yea it might be cause of some unimportant reasons, but it still hurts somehow. And now I'm confused which side I have to follow.

Sometimes, I feel like "Oh, he's fine. I wish nothing would make some fights anymore." but after I feel like that, unwanted-thing happens. Like, small fight or just 'no trust feeling anymore'. I don't really know what he does behind me. I try to always trust what he says, but....just think. "You can have love without trust first, but once that trust is broken....." fill the incomplete sentence by yourself. This trust--is broken more than 2 times. So then? :-(

Actually, this is my only dream and I really want if this happens for both of us.............................OH PARIS.

I've always wanted to visit this beautiful city, and definitely with him. You see, it has always been everyone's dream. Yea it's not as big as Indonesia, or maybe China. But there's something that makes me even interested to come to Paris..

Eiffel Tower..so beautiful. I imagine if someday I could hold your hand and walk together with you, talk about little things while walking around the garden of this tower. And then we sit, on the ground..talk about the bigger things. Maybe about our next plan, future, and others. It would be so much worth it...and if someday you'd marry me. We'd make faithfully promise to live forever after together..build our dream house..and others.

Muhammad Rory Aryansyah, please stay here. I wanna spend this whole life with you since February 12th 2010 until the end. Since I knew you and recognized each other..please be my future prince..and the one who able to always hold these hand forever :')

My Heart Voices

Again and again... over and over again. Seriously I got tired of being like this. I may don't deserve the best, but I deserve what's good for you. I'm sooooo not in a good mood today. I thought today would be the day I'd been waiting for..but something crashed it just in a few minutes. God I don't really know what to say then. I just can't believe why he did the same for the second times...

Ah. So my thoughts were true..just too true. It happens even I don't want to. I've got such a beautiful nightmare, in a reality. GOD WHY GOD? Can't you understand, I'm too patient of getting hurt. Relax........being hurt is my daily . I get used with this, though . If a fairy mother asked me what I wanted, it would be this.

"I need someone who can understand me, no matter about my good or bad sides they are. I need someone who loves me the way I am, keeps my feeling as well as I keep his. I definitely don't know what's love, and I need someone who can make me feel 'love' in a simple way. And if someone's a plan to hurt me, make him realize if I do the same--and it might be more painful than the way I feel."

It just happens in a fairy tale..not in this crap life.

PS. Here's the one which easily boosts my mood

*Haagen dazs..me love you*

Something I Always Hide From People

I am me. 14 years old girl who recently tries to love someone. Feeling hurt, it's my daily. I'm technically taken, by someone. From days to days, this feeling is growing even more. Love and always want to be loved. I'm jealousy, it's really me. I honestly hate seeing him talk with other girls. I don't really like if he has a conversation with a girl. My bad habit is just one. 'Loving someone without boundaries'. I give and forgive. He gets and forget. I'm actually not a typical of romantic person. I suck people. I try to make some girls avoiding him--not because I forbid him to hang out, but I'm just too afraid of losing him for the third times.

Dissapointment.

Ini bisa dibilang cobaan sebelum ujian..

On the beginning of April. I was down.

dan sekarang.........udah nggak ngedown, tapi bener-bener kecewa setengah mampus. Jadi ceritanya bermula dari tawaran beli kunci jawaban buat ujian. Gue akuin, wkt itu emang ada salah satu dr temen gue yg nawarin gue buat beli kunci itu. Dan temen-temen jg pd bilang "Kalo buat ujian nanti mau gak mau lo harus pegang, biar nilai lo ga kalah sama yg pada pake kunci."

I realized, it's a bad advice. You think, I go to school everyday just valued by an answer key? Dan akhirnya gue memustukan untuk bertanya kepada orang-orang yang gue anggep mereka adalah panutan hidup gue.

First, I asked someone who has been my love. Dan.......mengejutkan. tenyata dia beli!!!!!!! My Godness.. I was so speechless. He's my life compass, but...why did he do like that? Dan setelah gue tanya temen-temen deket gue, none of them bought the answer key. What the hell.......

Jujur aja, setelah gue nanya gitu ke org yg pertama gue tanyain, gue bener-bener kecewa. My daddy said "Don't follow your friends, follow your heart. Though your friends bought, try to not buying it. God's with honest people, and you must be proud of yourself if you get good score by yourself, right?"

I just can't seem to believe.. td pagi gue chat sama org itu. Dan..emg chat nya ngga ngenakkin. Setelah kita chat beberapa lama, akhirnya pada saling emosi. 1 hal yg bikin gue makin kecewa.......org itu ngebentak gue berkali-kali, bukan sekali dua kali. Menyakitkan, lo harus tau he has promised me to change as a better person. Inilah salah satu tweet nya tanggal 11 Februari 2011;

Se badmood2 nya gw, gw gk mau ngelampiasin ke orang yg gw sayang

11 Feb via Twitter for BlackBerry®

kalian semua bisa baca, kan? "Sebadmood-badmood nya gue, gue gak mau ngelampiasin ke orang yg gue sayang". And now, hey..............apa itu bisa terbukti setelah dia ngebentak-bentak gue? FYI, dia cowok.

I've been hurting for so many times. And stupidly, I always forgive. I don't think like; 'He's gonna do the same, later'. Sekarang bisa dibilang gue digantungin. Tadi emang gue delete bbm nya, gak lama setelah itu dia ngeadd lagi dan gue accept. Setelah gue accept, langsung gue sapa. Dan belum dibales. Hm..........if he doesn't wanna be mine anymore, I believe someday I'll get a better one. My life is a long journey, and I shouldn't stuck on one person. "Treat your girl well, or another man will." I'm still a teenanger who needs happiness, not a pain. :')

PS. for someone who may feels this post is for you.......I wish you understood.